Sunday, July 5, 2009

Some Friendly Advice for Norm Coleman

Dear Senator Coleman,

I was one of those folks at last year's State GOP Convention who was heckling you. I was yelling "ANWR" from my front row seat in Rochester while my fellow delegate was elbowing me and pointing to the media not-so-far-away. The speech you gave that day sort of sealed your fate as it just-as-easily could have been given to a room full of Democrats with some very minor tweaks. You didn't have the base with you and without the base, (those troglodytes who actually make the phone calls and knock on the doors), you didn't have what it took to get over the finish line. You came close, soooo close.

I've always considered you a principled moderate, and a pretty smart guy too. You give some very eloquent speeches and you do have charisma. You seem like a nice enough man, so let me give you some advice that my very first boss gave me: Coffee's for closers.

Coffee's for closers. You lost to Jessee Ventura. You lost to Al Franken.

Now, don't get me wrong, I do believe this election was stolen. Those Dems just kept counting and re-counting until they found the votes they needed to pull ahead. What did you expect? That's how they roll. Only a couple thousand more votes and we wouldn't be here with this short clown representing us for six years. Yet, here we are.

The state party made a mistake by underestimating the competition. They pointed out his tax fraud, great point, but he was a Democrat. Democrats don't care, they were still going to vote for him. Then they ragged and ragged on jokes that a comedian made. Many in extremely poor taste, but the one about blasting old people into space to solve Medicare was funny. Really funny. It was- as they say- a joke. They didn't attack him on what matters most...what always matters most...the issues. Now they're putting an asterisk next to his name which is pretty lame. A wee bit immature and certainly not effective. Let Minnesotans keep that asterisk in their heads-- they're smart people, they will-- it doesn't need to be spelled out for them.

Now, none of that was your fault, Senator. But here's what is your fault. You ran to the middle with an Independent in the race and you lost. Losing's tough, really tough. But I have some very good news for you. There's a wonderful world outside of politics and it's waiting for you. You don't have to be a politician. Really, you don't. You can explore so many other career opportunities and I really think that may be for the best. Please don't run for Governor, it's just not a smart career move. You'd be banking on a sympathy vote, but the problem is the majority of the voting population has a very short-term memory. (9/11- what's that?) Last year's Senate election will be a distant memory next year as people will have much more important things to worry about, like their jobs.

I won't be a liberal, I won't sit here and whine for six years, "they stole the election." And I have a funny feeling a lot of Republicans feel the same way I do. We want our leaders to talk about our principles and why liberal ideas are illogical and only work in a classroom, not the real world. Or why the Minnesota DFL won't let us have choice for our schools, our doctors or our energy options. We want our leaders to educate people on why Obama is wrong and we are right. If they do that, we won't ever have to hinge an election win on a single absentee ballot from Worthington to Wabasha.

Yours Sincerely,
The Activist Next Door


Jim said...


Jon said...

Norm's a politician and there aren't a lot of career options for politicians outside of politics. I don't think in running for governor he would be banking on the sympathy vote because quite frankly there isn't a lot of sympathy for Norm out there right now. But after a little time, a little damage repair, I think Norm still has a lot to offer, and would be an extremely formidable candidate for governor. In my personal opinion, that's the office he is best suited for, and the one he should have run for six and a half years ago.

Goose said...

Maybe Sarah Palin is giving up her Alaska seat to run for Tim's spot :)

Mary said...

God these people have no pride.

Sheila said...

Sarah Palin was dumb to quit-- coffee's for closers, quitting (especially a relatively easy job like AK gov) is worse

Jon said...

Being governor is a demanding job, and that's even true of Alaska which is about the size of the western United States. That said, that the state would be better off without her, is probably not something that was in her long term political interests to say. We elect our officials to serve, not to resign.

Jim said...

I do wonder if Norm would have voted any differently than Al on the inevitable Cap and Trade vote in the Senate.