Diary of a Mad White Woman

Obama's Attorney General , Eric Holder, is continuing the Administration's national lecture on race and apparently we are- and always have been- "a nation of cowards".

I'd like to point readers to this website I found- "Black Voices"- I was researching opinions on Obama and found it the other day. I thought I'd hold onto it until the next time somebody in Obama's administration brought up race....low and behold one day later....

Read some of the disgusting comments about new GOP Chair Michael Steele on the "Black Voices" blog:

He's called a token, a racist, a"niggrant" (multiple times), a mother-f---a, an "Uncle Tom House Negroe"...on and on....Republicans are called "Klansmen" and about a million other things. "Black Voices"...they don't sound too cowardly to me.

One rare comment on the site says this:

I am Black, female, and a Republican. I am an Army veteran my husband is a Navy veteran, and our son is a proud Marine. Why are folks like us called sell-outs and our beliefs denigrated because we don't march lock-step with Black Democrats? Instead of attacking Mr Steele,whom I respect, why not rejoice in the fact diversity among Blacks is another step towards abolishing racism. Lately the biggest racist group I have ever encountered has the same skin color as me and my family.


I've always been somebody who actually enjoys talking about taboo subjects, politics, religion and race...it's made me somewhat of a social outcast (I can ruin a dinner party in about 10 minutes if somebody starts trying to debate me), but it's who I am.

Race (and I'll keep this post to African Americans) is a fascinating subject- but I have learned over the years that it's usually not worth the energy to discuss it because no amount of discussion is going to change the fact that somehow- because you're white- you are responsible for the oppression of blacks in this country.

I grew up in a town with about six black kids. Two were adopted by a white family and the others were in mixed race homes. I was good friends from the 3rd grade on with one of the black girls in Lakeville who lived down the street from me. I've always liked R&B and Jazz music and have an interest in black culture. By high school, my best friend (white) was exclusively dating black guys from the city. So- yes I'm from Lakeville, but I certainly had exposure to African Americans from a young age.

I remember sitting in the LHS library with an underclassman- who was black- and we got into a discussion on race. He had a Malcolm X hat on (all the rage in 1990) and I asked him what he knew about the man. He knew a lot and proceeded to tell me all about The Nation of Islam and the evils done by whites- but when I asked if he knew that Malcolm X had expressed remorse for some of the things he had done and that his all-encompassing view of whites as "devils" changed late in his life- he didn't believe me at all. I told him he needed to read more about the man.

As a liberal arts major at the U- we had to take several mandatory "cultural studies" classes-- it annoyed me because I wanted time to study more political science, European and American history- which we were barely exposed to in high school. (Interestingly enough Holder agrees with me that there shouldn't be separate classes for this!) I took an African-American studies class where the black TA's enjoyed berating their white students- even making one of them cry once. I got an A- my final paper was on the "institutionalized racism of the modern welfare state" (one of the rare instances I wrote from the conservative side and still got a good grade).

When I was running for Student Body President- I made visits to the Cultural Centers on campus- there were Centers for Native American, Hispanic (La Raza), Asian America, Gay/Bi/Transgender (yes that's a culture I guess) and African American-- they were all polite enough (although I knew they were never going to support me) except for the Africana Center- where not one student even looked up at me when I went in to speak-- they literally wouldn't make eye contact- this is the same cultural center that brought radical speakers to campus including Louis Farrakhan. I faced similiar treatment when I was part of a Star Tribune panel on race with black student leaders telling me what I thought- challenging my assertion that when I walked on campus at night that I was cautious around ANY man- no matter what color his skin was. No- I was inherently racist because I was white and they were positive that I was lying...So much for open discussion.

I lived in North Dakota right after college- where there was basically no black population and then moved to Atlanta- where I worked in an office that was probably 60% white 40% black. It was eye opening. I made friends with a few of my black co-workers- but for the most part- things were pretty separate and I learned that you had to be exceptionally nice to the predominantly black loan documentation department in order to get your docs processed. Many times they'd simply ignore the salesperson until they were good and ready to talk to you. There was definitely reverse racism down there and I have a dozen stories to demonstrate it... Go to the Neiman Marcus at Phipps Plaza and try to get help if there are black customers around- you will be snubbed because they know there is very wealthy black clientele that shop there. (I have no problem with this by the way- if I worked there I would have done the same thing).

Minnesotans are funny about the South- very much looking down their noses at it- but it was a great experience- I miss the awesome R&B radio stations, I miss great soul food, I miss the beautiful black women who could buy and sell you in their big Bentley's and Mercedes. It's a flashy town and the large African American population heavily influences the city.

Until you live in places where you are the minority in some settings, I don't think you really can say you understand race relations. Sitting around a coffee shop talking about it is very different from living it.

My last big race conversation happened when I had re-connected with my best friend from high school when I moved back to MN. By that time she was a single mom with a bi-racial daughter and was dating a new guy. Todd and I met them out for dinner. He was from Maryland and went to a top University. At the beginning of dinner I told him I'd always wanted to visit Maryland and that I heard the Eastern Shore was beautiful with lots of B&B's-- he shot me a dirty look and said "black folk don't go to no B&B's"-- I guess I was supposed to assume he was from the ghetto and I guess it was okay for somebody with a graduate degree to speak in ebonics when trying to put a white girl in her place. Maybe I should have said "Really, black people don't ever go to B&B's, that's really interesting, why not?" But I didn't take the bait and the conversation went down hill from there while he tried to educate me about race, the evil of George Bush and the War in Iraq....I didn't talk to my friend for over a year after that happened.

Mr. Holder says:

"I think if we're going to ever make progress, we have to have the guts. We have to have the determination to be honest with each other,"

In my experience, honesty gets you nowhere. Politeness gets you nowhere. When it comes to conversations about race it seems no matter what you say that whites are always going to be asked to apologize for something. (Never mind that most of my ancestors emigrated after slavery was abolished, never mind that the few who came here before lived in Minnesota and fought for the Union in the Civil War). In all of the instances I can think of regarding conversations on race- as soon as I stopped listening to the black person I was talking to and offered an opinion, I was shouted down. And unlike how I act with white liberals- I usually just stop arguing because no matter what you say you're going to be a "racist" by the end of the conversation and who wants to be called a racist?

Michelle Malkin states it better:

"Holder doesn't want an honest dialogue about race. In the Age of [President] Obama, 'talking enough with each other about race' means the rest of us shutting up while being subjected to lectures about our insensitivity and insufficient integration on the weekends,"

From the closing prayers on Inauguration day to the new Justice Department head telling us we're a "nation of cowards"- it's pretty clear to me that color of your skin is going to be front and center in this new administration.

Policy wise- Holder wants to "revitalize the Civil Rights Division" at the Justice Department. I mean- Barack Obama was just elected President- the man raised more money than any candidate in history by two-fold! Interesting choice of priorities at this time in history.

Unfortunately, the older I get the more aware of race I become. It seems strange to me that even with a black President, a black Attorney General, and a black head of the GOP-- we're asked to talk about race more- not less.

It seems we're never going to be color blind in this country and for that I am sorry.